Music is what feelings sound like.
*?*

Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.
*?*

Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent.
*Victor Hugo*

I have always been a huge fan of music. I taught myself piano when I was ten, got lessons at 15, nearly went into the business after performing with a chamber music group, then gave it up for…well outta fear I guess. It has always been one of my first loves. The above quotes are so important to me because I tend to explain my feelings using music. I frequently find that songs perfectly make sense to what is going on in my life, and put into words what I don’t know how to say. Many times I have heard a song then wondered if that author didn’t first reach deep into my heart and mind and place what I felt into beautiful notes and words.

Finally, after the promptings of a close friend, and the feelings brought about by a relationship I started to write my own lyrics. That relationship changed when we broke up which only spurred my song writting as a means to express my hurt, disappointment, and then my moving on. I left it behind for awhile, but soon picked up the pen and pick in order to search out my feelings about another and to rejoice in Christ. My songs became a form of journaling for me. I wrote songs about my sister when she ran away and then when she returned again. I wrote songs about happy things, sad things, my return to faith, my anger, my love…

These next two songs are just two from the collection. They are the two that I picked to actually turn into real songs with music. My friend Keaton helped write the guitar parts for me, as I’m a more accomplished lyricist than musician. The songs are interconnected. Maybe that’s why I like them so much…they are a short story in my life.

Not Invisable

I’m not invisable to you
In fact you know me too well
But maybe not enough to tell
I’m always thinking about you

I live just for a glance from you
And even though we talk all day
I never know just what to say
I think you know all my games

So just what
What must I do
To let you know
Know what I know

You see it’s happened all before
We’ve walked down this road a time or two
Of uncertain glances, thoughts and hopes
But now it’s me instead of you

An awkward brush of my hand
A quiet blushing on my cheek
You brushed my heart or did you know
I’m always think about you

So just what
What must I do
To let you know
Know what I know

So just what
What must I do
To let you know
Know what I know

I want you to know what I know
I want you to know what I know
I want you to know what I know…

Oh Not Again

A smile hides
What’s on the inside
Your broken heart
Has turn cold

And so you try
To make me cry
As you let
Bittnerness grow

You may despise
These bright blue eyes
But it’s not right
To let it show

Oh no not again
We don’t need
To recount our sins and hostilities
After all these battles you leave
My love belittled
Oh not again

You constantly
Refuse to see
Anything but
My flaws

You wish to be
The one who reminds me
That I’m broken
And need to grow

Oh no not again
We don’t need
To recount our sins and hostilities
After all these battles you leave
My love belittled
Oh not again

And so I bid farewell
I can’t stay
And let this anger fester
While I let you
Destroy my heart
Destroy my heart

I thought you one
To honor and be kind
But I guess it’s just too late
To expect you to
Change your mind
Change your mind

So to keep regret at bay
I will have say

Oh no not again
we don’t need
To recount our sins and hostilities
After all these battles you leave
Our love belittled
Oh not again

Oh no not again
Oh no not again
Oh no not again
Oh no not again…

Recording these today was pretty amazing. I now have two songs on my iTunes that have my name on them and my voice caring the message. I realized that in order to keep up any sort of recording in the future I am going to have to learn to write the actual music myself…or maybe once I am living in Austin I’ll meet another group of friends who are awesome musicians to help me out.

Peace and blessings